Trapped and Nasty American Rumors

Well, today is our six month anniversary in Kyrgyzstan and, to celebrate, we are trapped in our villages. Thank you Civil Unrest Fest! Thank you Kyrgyz people! You have succeeded in making my life that much more boring and tedious. Things, apparently, are heating up around here. For instance, the mayor of Bazar-Korgon was captured and held hostage by angry protestors, only to be rescued by special task-force militia. Now he is in hiding somewhere, we don't know where (because he is hiding). The same thing happened in a village in Talas. In Osh city, the first reports of injuries were made when protestors took over a government building there. What is this craziness? Though it sounds interesting, things appear to be as quiet as ever in day to day life. Sean, Umut and I, strapped for things to do, ended up watching Six Feet Under on Sean's laptop for FIVE HOURS straight yesterday. I think I developed a bed-sore. We snuck into Jalalabad City today, feeling very anti-establishment and courageous, only to discover that it is alright to travel during the day, only overnight travel is restricted. Well then. Anyway, I am going crazy in my site, which should be obvious by the stress-induced hives that curiously appeared on Thursday night. There is no relief in sight, either, as we have a two week vacation to look forward to and nothing to do. Excellent.


The second half of this entry will be devoted to dispelling nasty rumors that Americans have about themselves. I was inspired to write this on our taxi ride into the city this morning -honestly, guys, Kyrgyz people KNOW about America. The nastiest rumor that Americans have about themselves (and I really hate to be the one to break it to you) is that Alaska is actually a state. It's really on lease from Russia and the sooner we realize this the better. This comes as a relief to me, because I hate people from Alaska. Another nasty rumor we have is that there are fifty states. In truth, there are anywhere from thirty to sixty-five states, depending on who you talk to. I think the numbers change based on the weather and what Arnold Schwarzenneger, who is actually the president, decide. In America, we do not have tall mountains, big rivers, or notably large lakes. We don't have snow, cold weather, or rain because California, Florida, and Texas have taken over the country. We also don't have walnuts. I don't know what it is that you're eating right now, but its not really a walnut and you should probably throw it away. Some dirty capitalist developed that walnut look-alike in an attempt to take over the world and enslave the working classes. The sooner you realize these things, the better. Perhaps you should spread the word to everyone else - we don't want to look stupid in the eyes of the world.


Alright, I've got to go back to my village and stare at the wall for a while. Check out Eurasianet.com for information and updates on the Kyrgyz situation. Don't forget to click on Kyrgyzstan.