I just got home from a six-hour women's summit. The day started with coffee, pastries, and opening remarks. The keynote speaker was a local woman who has lobbied for women's issues and is now a consultant for environmental policy. I was impressed by her credentials and energy, but as her speech went on, I began to see that her main focus was on a very particular aspect of womanhood - women as mothers and mothers as women.
She described her efforts to change policy for Family Leave, healthcare for women and children, after school programs for children, and equal pay for women with children. She even had an anagram - MOTHER - that we had to stand up and spell out with our bodies.
I support the issues that she discussed, but I found myself asking . . . what about me? How did the opening remarks get stolen for the 'mommies'? Why was the introduction into this women's summit focused on an issue that only applies to some women?
The summit was very diverse, including women from all races, ages, and sexual preferences. There were recent immigrants, there were transgendered people, there were homeless women. There were even men! Were I the keynote speaker, I would look at this group of people and draw similarities based on what I knew about them - they're interested in women's issues, they're interested in social change, and they want to talk about it.
Instead, we were all drawn together by motherhood ("Stand up if you're a mother! Okay, now stand up if you've ever had a mother! See, this is all something we have in common!). I'm not a mother and I may never be a mother. This doesn't make my concern for women's issues less valid. I want to talk about issues that affect ALL women - sexism, the glass ceiling, healthcare, reproductive rights, and education - and I don't really want to have a warm-fuzzy talk about mommies in action (no offense, mommies).
In the end, I'm tired of the idea that motherhood describes womanhood. Or that a woman isn't complete unless she's a mother. Who I am is far more complex than my ovaries.
