“Rich, out-of-touch expatriates” or The Problem with Garden Toys

Who is a rich, out-of-touch expatriate? Me, apparently, for wanting to buy Lark a trampoline.

Before we moved to Rwanda, a friend sent me a list of recommended items to bring. The list included a swing set, a trampoline, and other large garden toys. At the time, I thought, “This doesn’t apply to me.” Lark wasn’t walking yet and I didn’t realize that I would actually really, really want to have a place for her to burn energy outside. Foolish me; I’d thought she’d always be happy to crawl around looking at blades of grass.

As it turns out, Lark loves jumping and climbing on things. She jumps on the bed yelling JUMP and she jumps while standing on her stool. She even climbs on top of stacked boxes and practices jumping. A trampoline seems like a relatively safe place for her to pursue her passions.

Cue me two months later sending an email to a local listserv asking where I could buy one. This kicked off a flurry of activity from other parents who also wanted trampolines. It was sort of ridiculous, but you have to understand – there is no public space for kids to play here. Everything happens in restaurants gardens or home gardens. Since its inconvenient (and expensive) to go to a restaurant every day to play, it is nice to have a well-equipped home.

These kids are looking pretty damn pleased about being on a trampoline.

Earlier this week, I met friends and friends-of-friends for dinner. One woman and I were chatting and had barely moved beyond pleasantries when she said, “Did you see that email thread about the trampolines? I was shaking with fury! I mean, it’s so typical. These people are just rich, out-of-touch expatriates.”

This is a trampoline. It is used by out-of touch-people the world over for jumping and other fun-related activities.

I was taken aback by her judgement. I didn’t know how to tell her that, actually, I’d sent the first email and, actually, I’d really like a trampoline.

Let me lay myself bare: I am a rich expatriate, at least by local standards (as is the woman in question). I’m not obscenely rich, but I can afford to buy moderately priced toys. I am not, however, out of touch. I have spent a decent amount of time outside of Kigali and I know the constraints that people face every day. I know that many people only eat meat once a year, at Christmas, because it’s too expensive for daily consumption. I also know that many Rwandan kids suffer from food insecurity and malnutrition. I can see the absurdity in spending money on recreational things while others can’t afford to pay their annual health insurance (less than $10).

Rural Rwanda looking beautiful. This garden would look good with a trampoline in it.

All of that said, forbearing from buying things will not magically resolve the income inequality and power asymmetry prevalent in our world. Even if I were to use my money – all of my money – to address inequality, it would be not be effective. At best, I could help a few people in a very short-term, unsustainable way. Instead, I focus my professional energy on fomenting systemic, structural changes with long-term impacts. But, I’ll also buy garden toys for my kid and will forgive myself for wanting such things.

I’ll even let the judgmental woman’s kid have a go on the trampoline.

This is me looking out-of-touch in Spain, but admittedly pretty chic. Would I jump on a trampoline with that dress on? You bet! I would set the wine down somewhere safe, though.