Fan Death! Tajikistan-style.

When I get sick in the US, I usually look to the most likely culprits - germs, exhaustion, dehydration, or a combination of all three. Here, however, everything can be blamed on cool air and cold water! It's so much easier. The recipe for good health is to sleep in a stifling room and drink nothing but hot tea. At least, this is what my host-mother tells me.

When I developed a bad allergy to dust, my excessive mucus could be blamed on the fact that I slept with a fan on. When the dust made my chest hurt, this was because I had been drinking cold water. This morning, I could hardly speak because my throat and chest were so raw. My host-mother looked at me menacingly and said, "I told you! No fan! But I heard you watching TV last night with the fan on. This is why you can't speak today."

After classes, we went to the Turkish cafe for lunch, which gave me a bad stomach. When I came home to use the toilet, she said, "This is because you drink cold water. " An unfair accusation! The water that I drink is almost never cold. If it happens to be cold when I buy it, it doesn't stay in that condition long. However, they won't even let the children touch my water! It's too cold for children! I told my host-mother:

"I never drink cold water."

"I see you drinking it all the time," she said. "You use the fan and you drink cold water and this is why you're sick."

At this point, I will share a truth: sometimes I drink cold(ish) water with the fan on. I let the fan blow RIGHT on me as I drink the water! It feels good to live in a dangerous way, but I'm suffering the consequences: a cough, intestinal cramps, and sleepless nights. Obviously, my water is too cold and my fan is too blow-y. Aren't the most pleasant things in life always this way?