Dirty Mario and His Dirty Posse of Traveling Silver Salesmen

Doesn't the name just say it all? College jokes aside (where are Reuben, Kevin, and Newt when you need them?!), I had never truly experienced a 'Dirty Mario.' This past weekend, however, all of that changed!

Takeno Beach in all it's pre-Mario glory.

Picture this: Liz, Rob, Travy, and myself relaxing at Takeno Beach, taking in the sunshine, the turqoise water, and the lack of people.

Now picture this: An old, fat, Italian man in his boxer shorts (and JUST his boxer shorts) with a team of equally shady characters. Dirty Mario and His Dirty Posse of Traveling Silver Salesmen have entered the scene.

Dirty Yuki, preparing some dirty Asian/Italian fusion antipasto.

On arrival, we noticed the presence of other foreigners on the beach. Naturally, my curiosity was piqued, but Liz was reluctant to converse as 'we might not be able to escape.' A valid concern, but we didn't have much time to contemplate our situation as one of the foreigners yelled 'hello' and gesticulated wildly (we knew then that he was Italian) for us to come and sit with them. We did.

After talking with Dirty Mario and His Dirty Posse of Traveling Silver Salesmen, we discovered that they were a mixed trio of Italian, Sri Lankan, and Japanese descent. Their life goal was relaxation. Their plan to achieve it was sitting on the beach. Their source of funding was intermittently selling silver out the back of their van at various locations across the country. Dirty Mario's life philosophy went something like this: "Hey! I see a beautiful woman, I say, 'Hello, beautiful woman!' Then I drink some wine and eat some food and I like the accordion! Life is good!"

And then Dirty Mario and His Dirty Posse of Traveling Silver Salesmen cooked us a fusion of Italian and Japanese food, right there on the beach. They passed around beer and cognac and spoke in Italian and Spanish and English and heavily accented Japanese and it was true - life was good.

Ailey and the man himself - Dirty Mario.