There is a beer vending machine ten minutes from my front door. For this very reason, I don't usually keep beer in my refrigerator. Instead, when I'm in the mood, I walk down the road, put my change in the slot, and select my beer of choice. Sometimes I open it there and sip while I'm walking home. Sometimes I walk to the beach (if the weather is nice) and drink it there.
Lately, though, something has been happening that has rained on my beer parade. The benefit of living in a very small town is that everyone knows you. The downfall of living in a very small town is that everyone knows you. Like clockwork these days, whenever I'm reaching down to grab my beer, someone I know appears over my shoulder. The most common question I get asked is an innocent, "What are you doing?" But it's not that innocent! I'm convinced that said person has seen me put my money into the vending machine, select my beer, and they know that I'm trying to not-so-discreetly keep it behind my back.
Inevitably, the can is spotted and said person will say, "Hey, what are you drinking?!" This is a thinly veiled attempt to hide the REAL question, which is, "That's not a beer . . . IS it?" At which point I meekly show the offending beverage and say something along the lines of, "Yeah. I'm drinking a beer. I thought it was a soda (when all else fails, plead ignorance)." If I'm feeling truly ashamed, I might add something like, "It's for my Dad." This is a good excuse because everyone knows that Dads are the official drinkers of beer.
But I'm tired of the lies! I am tired of masking my love of beer. Though it's true that Dads are the official drinkers of beer (and makers of breakfast - these are universal truths), it's not true that they are the only ones who find beer delicious. I've decided to face the situation head-on. From now on, I will walk the streets drinking beer openly and proudly. Let my neighbors think that it is a crazy foreigner habit - I don't care! I just want to enjoy my beer and not feel guilty every time I bask in the inviting glow of a vending machine.
6 comments:
When I get to Hyogo & look in your refrigerator, I expect to find all those beers you've been telling people you bought for me ... &, I will fix you breakfast.
Well, we are officially coming to Japan and you can show everyone this Dad that is drinking all these beers!
And you need to enjoy the ability to drink openly as you walk outside for as long as you can. You won't be able to do that here! Until our next trip to Vegas that is.....
Hi Ailes!
Miss you !! Can't wait to see you again! Love reading about all your adventures! Yuk to Beer tho!! YUkkkkkkkkkkk! me no like that nasty tasting stuff!!
You know what I really want?
A martini vending machine.
Conveniently located 2 steps from my classroom door.
That? That would make it ALL worth it.
If you get the vodka and vermouth, I will make you all the martinis you can handle when I get there, sweetheart. It will be from your very own martini vending machine right in your house. You won't even have to walk down the street to get there.
Post a Comment