I never know what's going on

You know how queens and kings used to adopt mottos for their lives? I've decided that, were I a queen (and we all know that I actually am), my motto would be, 'I never know what's going on' as evidenced by morning here in Japan.

Almost as soon as I'd arrived, the other teachers filed out of the teachers' lounge and disappeared. Apparently today is 'sketch day' so there are no classes and the students are scattered around town working on watercolor paintings. For the better part of the morning, the vice-principal and I sat there staring into space. Sometimes he'd stand up, at which point I'd frantically begin working on a project in case he happened to come and peer over my shoulder as vice-principals love to do. But he never did and I hadn't gotten anything done.

Finally, Doi-sensei (pronounced 'doy' which always makes me laugh inwardly) asked me to come do the rounds of town with her on our bikes. We rode around for about an hour, stopping once or twice to chat with people working in their gardens, one of whom is an acquaintance of mine, Yutaka-san. Yutaka-san and I briefly discussed my friends staying at his pension and agreed to meet next week. Doi-sensei and I rode away to check on the rest of the students.

When we completed our rounds, Doi-sensei said, "Okay, now let's go talk to Yutaka-san," and began riding her bike back towards his pension. "Ugh," I thought. "I already agreed to meet with him NEXT week. Not today." But when we got to the pension, Yutaka-san didn't want to talk about my friends staying in one of his rooms. Instead he said:

"Let's eat grapes!"

Which made about as much sense to me at the time as someone saying, "Let's turn this dog inside out!" or "Let's change the rotation of the earth!" But I followed him and Doi-sensei for a few blocks until we came to his grape arbor. We went in and were surrounded by low-hanging branches, heavy with the meatiest grapes I have ever seen. "Please, eat them," Yutaka-san said, so I tentatively bit into one. And it was The Best Grape I Have Ever Eaten.

These grapes are unlike any other grapes that I've had. I mean, the grapes that you buy at Safeway are crunchy and watery and taste a bit like you're drinking a glass of semi-tart water, but these grapes are fat and firm and filled with thick, sweet juice. These are the grapes that I imagine Julius Caesar eating while being fanned by slim boys in loin cloths. These grapes actually taste like grape juice.

After eating an entire bunch of grapes, Doi-sensei and I said goodbye to Yutaka-san and returned to school with about two pounds of fruit. So I'm back in the teachers' lounge, staring into space and avoiding eye-contact with the vice-principal. The grapes are in the kitchen, chilling in cold water and I can't stop thinking about them. I want to eat some, but I'm not sure what the protocol is. Like I said, I never know what's going on.